Eff you Canon
by Princessofthevalley2112
Summary: One messed up reincarnation and Emma Frost is stuck in the body of a girl whose life was supposed to be worse then hell. With a chakra demon sealed inside her gut, there's only one option left for the due hard Narutard- Eff up the plot! OC/Reincarnation, not SI.
1. Chapter 1

A/N:- Hurrah for clichés! Reincarnations are really cliché, but I love them! This is an OC/Reincarnation _not_ self insert.

Alright then, let's go!

Warning- language. The character swears. A lot.

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

 **Chapter 1: Messed up rebirth**

Dying is weird.

One moment your whole body is screaming in pain, your minds begging for everything to just _stop._ And then... Peace. Calm.

Right up until it starts again.

Pain wracked my body as my vision suddenly cleared. My head hurt. I felt weak.

I screamed.

A small part of my brain thought _'What the fuck is wrong with my voice?'_

I ignored it.

I saw a blonde young man looking at me, his eyes blue and his face pale. He looked familiar. So familiar. Jaw length blond hair, blue eyes and a face that could only be described as beautiful.

Damn, he was hot.

I barely registered the screaming of a woman and another weak cry reached my ears.

"Congratulations! A boy!" The person who was, I realised, holding me previously said.

A boy? WTF?

Ok, now I was pretty confused. What the hell was happening. I tried to organise my thoughts.

 _Number 1: You were hit by a bus._

 _Number 2: You feel weak, pathetic and small. Really, reeeaaallly small._

 _Number 3: The blonde hottie looks exactly like Minato Namikaze from_ Naruto

 _Number 4: There's a woman in labour right now._

I suddenly noticed with a start that a guy in black robes was holding me. He wore an orange spiral mask.

 _Number 5: Apparently Tobi decided to show up._

 _Conclusion: i... was reborn in the Naruto world?_

I decided to just stop and sleep. Maybe this whole thing was just a weird near death hallucination.

Slowly, I closed my eyes and let the darkness overtake me.

Minato Namikaze was _freaking out._

His brave, beautiful, amazing wife was screaming her head off. The Fourth Hokage was currently formulating a strategy to calm down his wife when she would recover from labour. An angry Kushina was something he would rather not face ever again.

However that wasn't the only reason to why he was so frightened. Apparently the Nine Tailed Fox wasn't the only complication in the childbirth.

His daughter had an astonishing amount of Yin chakra.

Yin chakra usually corresponded to the spiritual aspect of chakra. Minato was worried of the implications of this chakra. Not to mention the fact that his other child, his son, didn't seem very eager to come out.

While the nurse held the baby girl, Minato concentrated on the task at hand. Preventing the seal from being broken.

"This fucking hurts, 'ttebane!" screamed the Uzumaki.

"Come on Naruto. Come out! You stay in there Nine Tails!" snarled the blonde Hokage sensing the Fox thrashing inside the seal.

A small cry resounded through the cave Biwako held out a young baby boy. Minato sighed in relief. It was done.

"Congratulations. It's a boy!" She said.

"Naruto" Minato trembled racing out his hands just as Kushina moaned.

"It's the mother who gets to hold the children first! Nurse! Give Lady Kushina her daughter!"

The nurse stepped forward obediently when-

Slash!

Biwako and the nurse slumped over, their throats slit. Above them, holding Naruto and his sister, was a man in an orange mask.

Minato raised his tri pronged kunai.

"Let my children go" he said quietly, releasing all of his Killer Intent.

"You want them, Fourth? Come and get them". The man threw the children in the air.

The Yellow Flash threw his kunai and teleported near his children, grabbing them and then disappearing, no doubt to take them to a safe place.

"Now" the man turned to the still weak Kushina. "Let's see if we can add a Tailed beast to this party"

I was standing in an office. A mahogany desk was at the center of the room. There was a woman sitting in the chair. Her hair were tired in a bun and beside her a big pile of papers was steadily reducing as she quickly grabbed a paper, scanned it's contents and stamped it with a big fat 'Approved'.

"Um hello?" I said tentatively.

The woman looked up, blinking her eyes. "Emily Frost?" She asked.

My heart skipped. Soo what happened before was a hallucination.

Goody, that means this is heaven. Probably.

"Yes. Where the heck am I?"

The woman set aside the stamp and motioned for me to sit.

I sat down under her scrutinizing gaze.

"Um, hello? Miss, I uh asked a question"

The woman frowned. "You're in the Rebirth Department"

Wait, what?

"Um sorry, I thought you said Rebirth Department"

"Well you thought correct. The Rebirth Department was created a few centuries back. There was a major setback in the Soul Factory so we began recycling the old souls. So, Emily Frost. Hold on, I have a file on you here"

The woman opened a drawer and began rummaging through.

"Michael Jackson, Julius Caesar, Alexander, ah there it is. Emily Frost. 22 year old, died on a Europe tour by hitting a double decker bus in London. Your next body was supposed to be in world 248, as Jackie Short.

Sorry but due to an unfortunate mix-up of files, you were accidently reincarnated in World 56"

I blinked. This was... wierd. Bonkers. Complete and utter insanity.

I doubt even my imagination could have created something so bizarre.

"Soo, does that mean I'm, you know, gonna be re-reincarnated as Jackie?"

The woman smiled at me. "Sorry hon, but what's done is done. You'll have to now live your life as Nanaiko Uzumaki"

"What."

Nanaiko Uzumaki. I had a feeling my misadventures had just begun.

Parents dead? Check.

Tobi gone? Check.

Nine Tails sealed? Check and mate.

Thanks to my dear jerk of a father (aka Minato Namikaze), I was stuck as a jinchuuriki of the Nine Tails (his Yang half, most probably), along with my brother who was none other than the main protagonist Naruto.

Awesome. No amount of fanfiction could've helped me out at this point. Thanks to the chakra beast in my gut, I would be a target pretty much my whole life. The villagers, the Akatsuki, _Danzo_.

I didn't mind the Akatsuki. They were awesome. What I did mind was the fact that they would try to kill me before I get to glomp them by extracting the Tailed beast in me.

And Danzo was an asshole. I hated Danzo. I detested him. He was a fucking moron who should have crawled in a hole and died.

And that had nothing to do with the fact that he totally tricked the most awesome person in the whole series and basically fucked up the whole frigging world.

Also Zetsu. There was no way I was letting that filthy little two faced liar let his precious mother come back from the grave. Plus, fighting an honest to goodness goddess would be just a tad bit too much for me.

So I decided. I decided to blunder through this entire world, all the while making sure that all that shit that took place in canon does not take place.

And that there are no more damned fillers.

I'm going to spare you the story of my first five years as Nanaiko Uzumaki. Let's just say it wasn't what the best five years of my life. Whatever you thought about young Naruto's life? It was much worse.

And my dear dear brother, bless him, was so sweet and amazing. I always wondered how Naruto managed to somehow convert the most evil of all the evil people of the series. Now I knew how.

He was like a bright ball of sunshine, bumbling around and just being adorable.

We were pretty close. Whenever Naruto felt lonely, I would cheer him up. Whenever i had nightmares about my old life, he would hug me and I would fall asleep cuddling the crap out of him.

We supported each other fully, and I couldn't have asked for a better brother.

"Ne, nee chan, let's go for ramen!" was his favorite sentence. And I couldn't agree more.

Ramen was fucking delicious. I guess it must be some sort of hereditary trait. However, while Naruto was more of the wolfing down type, I was the sort who would savour every single sip of that yummy broth.

Teuchi ji-chan and Ayame nee-chan were awesome too. No wonder canon Naruto frequented Ichiraku Ramen. They were the only people in the whole village who treated us normally. I guess it had to with the fact that our parents frequented this place too.

And yeah, it was a bit difficult to wrap my head around the idea that I was the daughter of two anime characters. But I had made peace with the idea. This was now my life, plain and simple. Would I have trouble thinking of them as real, actual people? Yes. Definitely. But I can't do anything about that except create bonds with these people. Sure it would be unrealistic. But I intend to have fun, make new friends and improve the lives of all people in this world.

I will make a future and protect this world. I will plow through whatever Fate throws at me, to reach my dream.

And right now, at the age of five, I was facing my first obstacle. The Academy.

I was in the kitchen, packing mine and my brother's bento. It was the first day of the Academy. I was looking forward to the studies.

Not.

Fact:Emily Frost was a lazy procrastinator.

Fact:Nanaiko Uzumaki wasn't any better.

The only thing I was interested in was ninjutsu and that will only be taught when we turn ten or something.

With my insane chakra levels, I would definitely be a ninjutsu specialist. And thanks to my excess Yin chakra (yay reincarnation!), I can also become a decent genjutsu and medic specialist.

Apparently Uzumaki talents manifested mostly in women. I was also good at chakra sensing (although that may or may not have to do with my rebirth) and could heal anyone with a bite.

All in all, I was pretty much overpowered. Or atleast I planned to be. After all, it would be a real crying shame if the daughter of the Yellow Flash and the Red Hot Habanero couldn't perform her parents' most kickass moves.

Yep, you guessed it. Hiraishin and chakra chains.

The world was gonna be in for one heck of a ride.

I went inside the room shared by me and Naruto. We had moved to a new apartment after an incident at the orphanage. Jiji Hokage had got us enrolled in the Academy so that we 'can learn to protect ourselves'.

Hahaha. Nice one. I'll bet Tsunade's necklace that the Council had forced the Hokage to brainwash us into weapons. And by Council, I mean Danzo. Who else?

My dear brother was snoring. Hard. He was a pain to share a room with. He snorted, he kicked and he mumbled in his sleep.

I readied my 'Demon Mode' and channeled what I guess everyone would call my 'Killer Intent'. My hair began to float in all their red colored glory, an ominous aura set behind me. My violet eyes flashed with anger and I cooed "Oh Naru chan! Good morning"

My brother opened his eyes, took in my appearance and then screamed.

"GAAAAH! 'Naiko! I-I-I -"

Needless to say, Naruto did not have a good morning.

Me and my slightly traumatised brother reached the Academy and headed towards our class. I don't know how I would factor into the Rookie Nine, being the odd one out. Most probably one of the teams would be a four man squad or they would create a whole new team.

I headed into the class and stopped. Why? Two words. Chibi Rookies.

A cute little Shikamaru was snoozing, a shy chibi Choji was nervously eating chips. Chibi Sakura and chibi Ino were talking. Chibi Sasuke was staring out of the window.

I had to control my urges to hug every single one for eternity because they were freaking adorable.

I spotted a Chibi Shino, complete with oversized trench coat and sunglasses and right in front of him, pushing her fingers together and trying not to draw attention to herself was...

"Come on Naruto. I found ourselves a seat" I grabbed my reluctant brother's hand and dragged him towards _that_ girl.

"Yo!" I said cheerfully. "The name's Nanaiko, this is my bro Naruto. Can we sit with you?"

"I-I-I am H-Hinata Hyuuga and you're welcome t-to sit with m-me" said the white eyed beauty.

 _'Holy Shit. Hinata is so. Damn. Kawaiiiiii'_

"Nice to meet you Hinata. By the way, you are adorable. Seriously"

Hinata blushed slightly as I sat down next to her, followed by Naruto.

I grinned.

 _'That's it. Go for the kill'_

"Isn't that right Naruto?" I asked slyly.

Yes, I'm a NaruHina fan. Sue me.

"Hm? Oh yeah. That's right"

I mentally mimed beating the drums as Hinata turned crimson.

 _And score!_

Our teacher entered the class and he was _not_ Iruka Umino.

"Good morning. My name is Kazama Akiro, and I'm your teacher for the rest of your days in the Academy" he said tonelessly.

Kazama sensei started the roll call. When he reached my name, he scowled at me and gave my brother a dirty look.

I had a feeling things won't be so sunshine and daisies in the Academy.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks to everyone for the response! Here's the next chapter for 'Eff you Canon'.

 **Trougue:** I am starting of slow, plus I'm not used to writing long chapters since this is only my second fic. The starting chapters will be a bit crack-ish but I'm planning to really dive into the angst (not too much, this is a humour fic) around fourth chapter.

Also, to those who think that Emily/Nanaiko got used to being in the Naruto world too quickly, don't worry. Her head's pretty much in the clouds right now. I'm planning something really, really traumatic for her that'll bring her back to Earth fairly quickly (Lips sealed!)

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

 **Chapter 2: Forging Bonds**

It doesn't matter which world you're in, school always sucks.

Aside from brainwashing us into child soldiers (and judging from the number of ninjas, it actually worked), we had mathematics, history and science (which we defied every single day).

The only subject I paid attention to was history. For someone who was working for a degree in engineering, the stuff they were teaching could not even qualify as mathematics. And science? Puh-lease.

No wonder I didn't put any effort in the classes. But it did give Akira sensei a chance to jump at my throat.

That guy was a freaking nightmare. He treated me and Naruto like dirt. Whenever we got an answer right, he would claim that we cheated and throw us in detention.

Luckily for me, I had someone to rant at. Hinata was the best BFF in the whole world (or worlds). Sweet and caring, she was a good listener and was perhaps the only person who could calm down an excited Naruto which immediately put her in my good books (not that she had to work very hard to get there).

While I grew closer to the Hyuuga heiress, Naruto found kinship amongst the 'Dead Last Gang'. Kiba and Naruto were both active enough to compensate for Shikamaru's laziness. Choji was like an oversized teddy bear. It took me all of my self restraint to not cuddle the crap out of him.

All six of us usually hung out together during lunch, either playing soccer or watching clouds. The real surprise however came about two weeks after our first day.

It was during lunch. We were cloud watching when I noticed a raven haired boy starting at us. The moment or eyes met, he quickly looked away and ate his lunch nervously.

An idea came to me as I walked up to the kid. "Yo!" I greeted. "The name's Nanaiko. What's yours?"

The boy looked at me shyly and mumbled "Sasuke Uchiha".

"Well Sasuke, would you like to be my friend?"

Sasuke stared at me, shock overtaking his features. His mouth opened slightly and his eyes bulged out, giving him a really comical look.

"I-Yes. Yes I would" he said, his eyes shining eagerly.

The thing about canon Sasuke was that he was lonely. Nobody had the guts to approach the Uchiha heir and as a result, he had no friends to share his burden with. By the time Team 7 came, it was too late. The little boy had already become a mess.

If I couldn't change the massacre, at least I could change the boy who had to go through it.

Plus, someone had to keep an eye on him and make sure his fangirls don't rip him apart.

I dragged him off to where the others were sitting. Hinata said a small 'hello', Shikamaru waved lazily in Sasuke's general direction, Kiba informed Sasuke he smelled of tomatoes (that must have made his day), Choji offered Sasuke chips and Naruto spared him one look and muttered 'Teme' which Sasuke replied to immediately with a 'Dobe'.

And that was how Sasuke Uchiha was officially inducted in our group of ragtag outcasts.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Third week came with the firing of Akira sensei for sabotaging mine and Naruto's test papers. Our new teacher was Kurenai Yuuhi, the genjutsu specialist and future sensei of Team 8.

Kurenai sensei was a good teacher. She was unbiased and fair, not afraid of scolding the clan kids who misbehaved, unlike Akira sensei who used to worship the ground they walked on.

I personally believed Hinata and I were here favorite students. Her eyes always softened momentarily whenever she glanced at me and the same for Hinata.

However, that did not mean she showed favouritism blatantly.

"Are you sure Kurenai sensei likes us?" whispered Hinata after a particularly embarrassing scolding from the genjutsu mistress.

"Positive" I whispered back. "She looks like a fan of the tough love routine. I'm never wrong".

Another significant event in the third week was my ditching kunoichi class. Don't get me wrong, kunoichi class wasn't that bad. They taught some pretty interesting things. The only reason I didn't attend the class was because I had to brush up my shurikenjutsu and instead of learning how to arrange flowers, I could just practice.

The Academy had a separate building for practising with shuriken and kunai. It was also usually where the Dead Last Gang hung out while ditching class.

I checked to see if anyone was inside and stopped dead to notice a small girl practising. Her hair were arranged in two buns and she wore a Chinese style top and loose pants.

Oh hell yeah! It's TenTen!

I watched with fascination as TenTen hit bullseye again and again. Her aim was precise and she simply oozed confidence. This TenTen was really different from the TenTen in canon. Looking at her like that, I realised how absolutely underrated her character was.

Well, no more! As Naruto's sister and the other Kyuubi jinchuuriki, I hereby declare TenTen to be a not so minor character!

"Oh Kami, that was awesome!" I said the moment TenTen finished.

The girl jumped in surprise and stared at me like I was an alien.

I stuck out my hand and flashed my trademark smile. It wasn't the huge grin Naruto and Kushina have, but it was close enough."Nanaiko. Nice to meet 'cha"

"...TenTen" she said and shook my outstretched hand.

"So what, you training to be a weapons mistress out something? That was pretty good"

TenTen blushed in the most adorable way. "You think I'm good enough to be a weapons mistress?" She asked uncertainly.

I realised that this TenTen was just a little six year old, not the confident kunoichi she was in canon. Time to change that. "Hell yes!" I said excitedly.

TenTen looked stunned for a while and then laughed.

In the next one hour, I managed to get only fifteen minutes of practice, but I deemed the day successful. I now had a friend, fellow future kunoichi and training partner in the form of a weapon throwing girl with twinbuns, and I was pretty happy. We mostly hung out after school. We had target practice sessions. Sometimes, Hinata or Naruto would also join us. I was her ear, the only girl who was willing to listen to her rant about her problems.

Sometimes I felt bad for poor Hinata, hoping that I wasn't as... passionate about my rants as TenTen was. But still, it was fun anyways. At least now I had a friend in the future Team Gai.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

My next interaction with another member of the Rookie Nine was two months later. Kurenai was gone for some mission so another teacher was substituting for her. The random Chunin whose name I didn't bother to even learn was running late and I was sitting in my seat humming 'Let it Go' when a scream broke my concentration.

The civilian girl (again, completely random and unimportant to the plot) was screaming her head off and pointing to the insect which was slowly walking on the floor.

"I-Its a cockroach!" She wailed.

I rolled my eyes at the girl's stupidity and walked over shielding the bug from the girl's wrath.

"Calm down. It's not a cockroach" I said.

The insect scurried away and, from my peripheral vision, I noticed it heading towards Shino. Well, that solves the mystery of how a kikaichu ended up in the class.

The girl I had talked to sneered at me. I belatedly realised that this was one of the popular girls in the school. She looked more like a doll than a future kunoichi with her pouty lips, huge eyes and delicate features. "Nobody asked for your opinion, _demon_ "

I pretended to look behind me and said in a cold voice. "Is there a mirror behind me? Because, obviously, you were looking at yourself when you said demon"

Several of the girls looked torn between anger and shock. The boys were trying to stop their snorting. Meanwhile, I enjoyed seeing the girl's face change color.

"How- How dare you?! Do you know who I am?"

I thought carefully. "Er, Kieko Mashi-something?" I said, genuinely confused as to what her name was.

"Emiko Saruki!" She snarled.

I blinked my eyes and then shrugged. "Whatever. Nice to meet you Enumi. Not."

I ignored her as she shouted "It's Emiko!" from behind me and walked back towards my own seat which was right in front of Shino.

I sat down and leaned back on my chair before speaking. "So, why did you release a huge ass bug on the female populace, Shino-san?" I said in a low voice.

I could sense Shino's surprise at being caught, but it was quickly replaced by his once again impassive demeanor. When he didn't reply, I just chuckled and said softly "You're welcome to join us at lunch, you know".

After saying that, I closed my eyes and drifted off, not before hearing Shino say in his quiet voice "I would love to. Why? Because I believe you to be good company".

From that day we gained a new creepy stalker-ish friend. I also tried befriending Ino and Sakura. Emphasis on _tried,_ because they were going through their 'Sasuke kun is so _coool'_ phase. I had no idea how to cure them from the fangirl syndrome, considering the fact that I was barely able to hold it together whenever I entered the class and saw the cute Chibi Rookies.

Although my control over my fangirl tendencies was put to the ultimate test when I met _him_.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

I stared at the amazing, awesome person standing in front of me, unable to believe my luck.

 _O my fucking god._

Itachi Uchiha, _The_ Itachi Uchiha was standing right across from me, looking so adorably nervous.

 _Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. He can sense your excitement._

"Hi!" I chirped and held out my hand. "Nanaiko Uzumaki, nice to meet 'cha!"

Itachi shook my hand warily. "Itachi Uchiha" he said slowly in his rich, smooth voice.

 _Ohgodohgodohgod_ _ **OHMYFUCKINGGOD!**_

An awkward silence permeated the air.

"Sooooo, Sasuke's absolutely obsessed with you".

"Nanaiko!"

Yep. I'm the bestest friend ever.

Itachi's lips twitched slightly. He thinks I'm funny!

"I see" he said in that goddamned amazing voice of his.

Dammit, why do all Uchiha have such an amazing voice? Obito, Madara and now Itachi.

"Yeah. Hahaha" I said weakly.

Just then Kami sent an angel in the form of my adorable little brother.

"Nanaikooooo! Jiji wants to meet our friends! Where are you dattebayo?!"

Yeah, Naruto had already developed his verbal tick. It was annoying and really, only served make him more irritating.

I nearly sighed with relief. Oh Naruto, how I love you!

"Coming! Alright. Great to meet ya and all. You're awesome by the way 'ttebane! Ja ne!"

Oh crap. Why? Why did my verbal tick have to develop when I was meeting my favorite character in the entire world? Damn you Kushina!

I raced towards my brother, grabbed my brother's hand and high tailed out of there, wading through the crowd of parents collecting their children after a day at the Academy.

"Excuse me! Side please! Uzumaki coming through!"

That got people out of the way quick.

Finally, after wading through the crowds, we ran towards the Sandaime Hokage or, as we call him, Jiji Hokage.

"Jiji!" I said brightly. To be honest I was never a fan of the Third in the series. He obviously did not seem very bothered about Naruto in the series. However experiencing it in real life was _very_ different. Turns out jiji was like a grandfather to us. An actual grandfather. He would buy us sweets and ramen, listen to our various exploits, amused and just relax around us. It was obvious from the way his eyes softened and his poisture relaxed that he loved us and trusted us, and I couldn't help but love him back.

"How are you Naruto kun, Nanaiko chan?" He said softly.

"We're great, 'ttebane!" I said, my verbal tick slipping out.

Jiji blinked then chuckled. "Really, now" he said, amusement glinting in his eyes.

I flashed him my most blinding grin. "Yep".

The rest of the day mostly consisted of eating ramen and talking about school. We also introduced our friends to our 'jiji' aka the Hokage.

Their reactions were pretty hilarious.

Sasuke tried to act a little like his brother, all cool and respectful and failing spectacularly.

Itachi was cool like always (squuueeeel!).

Shikamaru's eyes just widened for a while before he muttered 'troublesome' under his breath.

Choji nervously offered his chips to jiji, who accepted with a friendly smile.

Hinata blushed deeply and stuttered a tentative hello and then proceeded to give me a look which basically said 'How dare you spring this on me like this!'.

Shino nodded before politely greeting the Hokage in the most serious tone he could manage in his slightly high pitched childish voice.

TenTen just gaped, bowed quickly, and dragged me off to the bathroom to berate me for not telling her how the Hokage was my jiji. Even though jiji wasn't actually there, I was pretty sure he already knew what we had talked about, judging from the mirth in his eyes.

That day, as I feel asleep, I realised with a start that all these people were actually there for me and for Naruto. I had already started the process of creating those unbreakable bonds that bound the shinobi of this village together.

It was a good feeling, realising that you are making a difference for the better.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

It was winter in Konoha when I found myself near a black kunai shaped stone piece. I recognised it easily. If the flowers and engraved names weren't enough, the silver haired man brooding man definitely have it away.

Sucking on my lollipop, I skipped towards the brooding figure and peeked at him. The man raised his head slightly and stared at me back, stiffening ever so slightly as he recognised me.

"Ne ne, oji-san, you look sad" I said. Digging inside my pocket, I pulled out a lollipop and handed it to him.

The man with the spikiest hairdo I had ever seen took it suspiciously and unwrapped it warily.

I smiled. "Ne, oji-san, what is this?" I asked pointing towards the monument.

The man's eyes got a faraway look in them. "It's a memorial stone. It's a tribute to all those who sacrificed themselves in the Third Shinobi War and the Kyuubi Attack few years ago".

"Oh"

The man tentatively licked the lollipop. "Oh is right" he said solemnly.

Something seemed to be stuck in my throat as I looked at the stone. A strange feeling, something I had not felt for so long that I had forgotten exactly what it was.

I stared at the stone for a second before closing my eyes and pressing my hands together, palms touching and fingers pointing upwards.

"Look, I don't know you guys, but I know that what your sacrifice has resulted in. So, thankyou. For helping the village flourish. This is now a reality all because of you. Arigatou gozaimasu"

I opened my eyes and smiled sadly at the silver haired man. "So many lives lost in a war... I just wish another one never comes"

With that ominous sentence, I walked away from the clearing, contemplating this strange feeling in my gut.

/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

 **A/N: Next chapter- more friends, more Rookie Nine, Uchiha, and *gasp* Danzo!**

 **Meanwhile, I was thinking of writing a separate fic of one shots for all the plot bunnies that keep cropping up in my brain. These one shots may or may not have do with the main storyline, but they would definitely be more crack-ish. So what do you lovelies think?**

 **Anyways,**

 **Preview:** _She will be used as a weapon. For the good of Konoha. This was his promise to himself._

 **Dango for your thoughts?**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- I'm aliiiiiiive! The Massacre will take place, but there's no way I'm letting Emosuke come in this fic. The plot is thickening and we are approaching the main part of the first arc! I like to call it 'Naive Nanaiko'.**

 **Anyways, on with the story!**

 **Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.**

 **CHAPTER 3 – Celebrations**

Days changed into months as I breezed through the Academy. I was pretty good at theory, practicals were easy as pie (three cheers for jinchuuriki stamina!) and I managed to get good marks in kunoichi class. It wasn't as bad as most fanfictions had said. I liked the subtlety, but sadly, being a jinchuuriki, I won't be able to get infiltration missions. Every single ninja village made a point to keep track of jinchuuriki. At least, that would be the most logical choice.

But, I guess common sense in this world is not very common so, who knows?

Naruto managed to get good enough marks to hover in the middle (thanks to me). As for me, I overtook Sakura as Kunoichi of the Year, ranking second right after old Emosuke. Yaaaaay!

Normally, I was pretty unconcerned with other people's opinions. But when almost every single girl glares at you with jealousy and anger, as if they're imagining how to kill you in a million ways, is not very comfortable. Especially when the class' most sought after boy makes it a point to congratulate you while blushing and hugs you (awkwardly).

Sasuke meant well, but _seriously, what the fuck was he even thinking?_

Hinata was cool though. The gal had come a long way. She never stuttered anymore, her confidence had taken a boost and she had the sharpest sense of humour ever. And, what was more, that sly girl basically had everyone fooled into thinking she was a walking talking nervous wreck.

I would pay a million ryo just to see the expression on her dad's face when he finds out exactly how 'weak' she is.

We were celebrating in the traditional Uzumaki way- Ramen!

"Alright, let's go!" cheered Naruto.

Hinata smiled. "I love ramen! Ko! I'm going to Ichiraku's"

Hinata's bodyguard flinched. Ko was the only one who knew how much Hinata had changed, hanging around us. "H-Hai, Hinata-sama!"

Sasuke pouted (OMG, so adorbs!). "Nii-san was supposed to come too"

"Yeah, where the heck is he?" I asked.

A sudden flash of leaves revealed a curly haired boy. His hair was dark and his eyes were onyx black. A red and white Uchiwa fan was emblazoned on his chest; however the characteristic blankness on the face was missing.

"Sasuke-chan!" he hollered and leaned down to give Sasuke a hug.

"NO!" the boy screamed and took shelter behind me. "Go away, Shisui-baka! And bring my aniki!"

Shisui pouted and began crying _OMG, were those anime tears?!_

"Oh cousin of mine, how you wound me so! I came here, so happy, thinking I'll get to see my dear little Sasuke-chan, and you treat me like this!"

I giggled. "Hey Sasuke!" I said, poking his shoulder. "Introduce us?"

The boy grumbled and motioned towards the crying Uchiha. "That's Shisui-baka. He's aniki's friend, but he's nowhere near as awesome as he is"

"Yeah yeah. Whatever. Hi, nice to meet you, blah-blah-blah, let's go for ramen!" Naruto said excitedly.

Shikamaru just sighed. "Too troublesome. I think I'm just gonna go home"

"I would like to join you, Naruto-san. Why? Because-"

"Shika, it's free food! Let's go!"

"As I was saying, because-"

"Oh no you don't! You're coming with us Nara, whether you like it or not, 'ttebane!" I snarled, dragging the lazy boy behind me.

"Troublesome woman let me go!"

"FREE FOOD!"

"As I-"

"Hey hey. I'm coming too 'ttebayo!"

"W-wait! Nanaiko, wait for me!"

"What the- Sasuke-chan, don't ignore me!"

"Naruto-kun, Wait!" "H-Hinata-sama!"

At the almost empty gate, a lone figure was standing alone, a rain cloud hanging over his head. "It seems as if nobody remembers me" Shino sighed.

Kiba suddenly materialized. "Wh-Where the heck did everybody go?"

"Ah Kiba, they-"

"Right. Ichiraku's of course! Those ramen nuts!" With that, the Inuzuka left.

Shino sighed once again. "It seems as if it is written in my fate to be ignored".

A few metres away, a white eyed prodigy sneezed and muttered something about fate hating him.

The Sandaime Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, was not in a good mood.

The Elder Council had convened to discuss the standards of the Academy. Only Koharu and Danzo were able to attend. The third member was sadly, not feeling too well.

Sarutobi knew this day would come and he had dreaded it. After all, this was _Minato's and Kushina's_ legacy they were talking about.

Since the Kyuubi attack, Danzo had insisted on training the children. After all, the prospects of their enemies surviving not one, but two jinchuuriki of the Nine Tails were very slim.

The Yin and Yang splitting of the chakra beast had given Danzo two young children to 'guide'. Sarutobi had suspicions about his old rival and what he had done behind his back, but without any concrete proof...

"Hiruzen" said Danzo, breaking the old Hokage out of his reverie. "The Academy results came out today"

Straight to the point then.

"Ah, yes. And I believe you noticed something... interesting?" he said smoothly.

Danzo's eyes narrowed minutely. "Nanaiko Uzumaki" he stated simply.

"Ah, yes. Thank you for reminding me about her. I really must congratulate her on becoming the Kunoichi of the Year. She worked very hard, even taking advice from her seniors. Not many five year olds have that kind of humility or wisdom"

"Exactly"

And here goes.

"Nanaiko will surely flourish under more... proper tutelage. I can ensure her formulation as one of the best ninja of the village, if you just hand over her to me"

"And Naruto?"

Danzo didn't scoff, but he looked like he wanted to. "Naruto Uzumaki is not as smart as his sister, nor does he have her potential"

"Potential to become a weapon?"

Koharu looked at the two men as if watching a game, and in a sense it was. A game of words.

"Precisely" Danzo said coldly. "The Yondaime sealed the Kyuubi inside the girl to provide Konoha with a weapon, which I think was his best decision in his short tenure. That girl was born to be a weapon, and she was born to be used for the good of Konoha"

"The Yondaime sealed the beast so that she can protect herself and her loved ones" the old Hokage answered wearily.

"If I may" interrupted Koharu. "I agree with Danzo"

Of course she did.

"Even if Namikaze sealed the demon inside the girl so that she can protect herself, it doesn't matter. What's done is done, and the only thing we can do is ensure that the girl can wield the power of the Kyuubi and with it, protect Konoha"

Danzo didn't show any emotion, but Sarutobi was smart enough to see his satisfaction.

"However" Koharu continued. "I think we should first talk to the girl in question. This is her future. It should be her choice whether or not to train under an experienced shinobi or stay in the Academy"

Danzo's elation must have plummeted, but Sarutobi wasn't very happy either. From what he knew of the girl, she was ambitious and eager to make her mark in the world. And he was almost sure that his adopted granddaughter will take up the offer.

And he didn't like that one bit.

"Very well" he said gravely. "Tiger, please send Nanaiko"

The hidden Anbu operative vanished, leaving a quiet Sarutobi behind.

Why did Minato have to die and saddle him with this job once again?

"Hey, take that back! Miso ramen is much better than your stupid tomato ramen!"

"Tomatoes are highly nutritious and they are amazing in colour too! Red is the best colour ever!"

"Hey, orange is the best dattebayo!"

"Hn, only a dobe like you can like such a weird colour like orange"

"Shut up teme!"

"Dobe!"

"Pork ramen?" I offered to a slightly out of his depth Shisui. Poor guy. I remember the first time I saw a full-blown fight between Naruto and Sasuke. It was a pretty surreal experience.

I whacked Shikamaru's head as he slowly nodded off and motioned at the steaming bowl of ramen in front of him.

He just sighed. Mumbling a "What a drag", he split his chopsticks and slowly began slurping the noodles.

"Chouji, don't eat so fast or the food will get stuck in your throat" I chided the Akimichi who was already on his third bowl and was showing no signs of stopping or slowing down. "Shorry Naiko-chan" he said in between the slurps.

Shino (where the heck did he come from?) was just sitting quietly and brooding.

"Er Shino?"

"Finally remembered me, didn't you?" he said hollowly.

Oh crap.

"Sorry?"

He didn't answer, just sat there in his own little corner.

"Wow" said Shisui and whistled lightly. " 'Tachi was right. You're a mother hen"

I flushed and ducked my head. "I'm gonna take that as a compliment" I mumbled, embarrassed.

Shisui just grinned and inhaled his bowl. "Mmmm. I am _definitely_ coming here again"

"Yatta!" I cheered. "One bowl, and all your dreams come true! That's the magic of Ichiraku Ramen!"

"Nanaiko Uzumaki?"

I turned to see an Anbu with a cat mask standing outside.

"The Hokage wishes to see you"

I smiled, although internally, I was wondering what was going on. "Sure! Shisui-baka, can you drop Naruto off at our home? I'm afraid he would stay here rather than go home and rest"

Shisui made a wounded sound. "You too Nanaiko-chan?" he said in a mock betrayed voice.

I swatted his arm and went to the Anbu.

"No funny business Cat-san, or I'm gonna kick you where the sun don't shine"

He must have detected some seriousness in my tone, because he just shut his mouth and nodded.

Also it may have to do with the fact that Naruto and I pranked the Anbu HQ a week earlier. He must have learnt _not_ to mess with an Uzumaki.

Damn, that was a fine prank.

He touched my hand and I experienced the strange sensation caused by the Body Flicker Technique. I shut my eyes and played some Skrillex mentally to take my mind out of the weird churning sensation in my gut.

When I next opened my eyes, I was standing in a long room with four chairs, one of which was empty. The first was occupied by a grey haired woman with severe brows and sharp eyes. Next to her sat my jiji in his entire pipe smoking glory and next to him sat the biggest piece of shit to grace the fictional world right after Umbridge. Yep, you guessed it. My favourite warhawk (not!) Shimura Danzo.

This was three-fourths of the Council which would, in the future, force Itachi to kill his whole family. And even though I was sorely tempted to give them the finger, I decided to do the more appropriate thing and bowed.

"Hello jiji, and Lord and Lady Elder" I said in my best Hyuuga voice.

The woman seemed impressed. Danzo looked... smug?

"Nanaiko" jiji said warmly. "Congratulations on becoming the Kunoichi of the Year. It's great to see you work so hard to become a ninja of Konoha to protect it"

"Thank you jiji" I said, giving my sweetest smile.

For a moment, I saw jiji's warm persona break, revealing an old man with many regrets but the moment passed away as if it was never there.

"We have been... discussing your future. This" jiji motioned towards the war hawk, "is Shimura Danzo. He's one of my advisors and was also my former teammate. He has offered to personally train you and help you achieve your goal to become a strong ninja of this village"

I looked at Danzo, who was smiling slightly. Ew, his fake smile was creepier than Sai's fake smile. I smiled in return, while inside I was retching and cursing myself for my stupidity.

"My dream, for now, is to just make sure my loved ones remain safe and sound. The Academy's boring, but the only reason I attend is because I get to interact with my fellow classmates more often. These people will one day be my comrades, and don't you think it would be better if I establish bonds with them beforehand?"

Take that Danzo! Even that guy won't dare go against the Will of Fire so directly as to state right in front of the Hokage that the comrade stuff is bullshit!

I could practically see Danzo's anger and frustration at my argument. It wasn't sentimental bull, but actual logic. The older generations have their prejudices about Kyuubi, which leaves only the younger generation willing to accept me. If they group me with the older generations, I'll be isolated and discriminated against, possibly leading to me going Nine-Tails on the village. Group me with the younger generation, and Danzo will have a hard time making me his new bright and shiny weapon when I will be too invested in 'building bonds' with people my age, who have no pre-conceived notions of my furry little problem.

The woman (what was her name?) scanned me with scrutiny, as if trying to understand what I'm thinking by just staring at me.

Jiji, however, seemed happy. His whole demeanour seemed much more relaxed. "So that's a no then?" he asked gently.

I nodded.

He chortled. "Well then, as you say my dear. Tell Naruto-kun I'm proud of him too."

I chuckled and then waved. "I will. Bye jiji!"

"Bye my dear"

Cat grabbed my hand and we body flickered to Ichiraku's, where the strangest sight greeted me.

Naruto and Sasuke were being held by an extremely exhausted Shisui who had soup splattered over his front. Hinata was tending to a groaning Chouji who seemed to be suffering from stomach ache. Shikamaru had fallen asleep with a noodle forming a moustache on his face, Shino was sitting with a rain cloud over his head and _wait, was he crying_? Kiba was at the corner rocking back and forth, looking terrified and murmuring "Get it out Kiba. Get it out".

Shisui caught sight of me and glared at me."I am _never_ babysitting _ever again_ " he hissed.

I just smirked. "What's the matter _Shisui-kaa-chan_?

Shisui's eyes narrowed. "Oh it is _on_ "

The next week was followed by a prank war the likes of which Konoha had never seen. I teamed up with Naruto to prank the living daylights out of Shisui while the Uchiha managed to rope in Itachi, who, to be honest, wasn't very interested in participating. Thank goodness for that, or he would have defeated us with his pure awesomeness.

I even managed to sweet talk Sasuke in becoming my 'in-man'. He seemed ridiculously happy about it.

The prank war was halted, however, when jiji decided to step in and gave me, Naruto and Shisui a lecture on how we should not paint each others' houses hot pink.

The Uchiha were _not_ impressed with Shisui's new wallpaper.

Needless to say, the three of us bonded after that particular incident. The kid reminded me a little of Fred Weasley. He even ( **spoiler alert for HP and Naruto!** ) dies later on.

Cue waterfall anime tears.

My life seemed perfect. But this is the world of 'Naruto'. And if there's something I should have learnt about my new life, it was that Uzumaki have the worst luck in the history of bad luck.

And somehow, I ended up in the middle of a new shitstorm. This time, a non-cannon one.

Damn you Butterfly Effect.

Shimura Danzo knew that she was smart. He knew that she was strong. Most of all, he knew she was different.

Since the day she was born, her fate was sealed.

She would be a weapon. For the good of Konoha. That was his promise to himself.

Danzo summoned squad 4. Built for infiltration and assassination, these ROOT shinobi were no ordinary shinobi.

"Squad 4. Commence plan 35. It's time the roots of Konoha become stronger and firmer"

The white masked shinobi nodded and disappeared.

Nanaiko Uzumaki would be his weapon. And nothing will stop her from becoming one.

 **A/N2- MWA HA HA HA HA!**

 **Review, Follow, Favourite! Criticisms are more than welcome! Flames will be used for Chouji's barbeque!**

 **Chouji-FREE FOOD!**


End file.
